


Gentle

by River_Tiger



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb deserves happiness, M/M, Making Out, Mild Hurt/Comfort, The two girls are only there for a short time, actually VERY rushed, kissing fic, pretty rushed, they don't affect the relationship, what's sexier than wizards NOTHING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2020-07-29 13:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20083225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River_Tiger/pseuds/River_Tiger
Summary: Essek notices that Caleb is rather distracted. But by what, exactly? Essek uses his own distraction to try and find out.





	1. Curiosity

“Are you listening to me, Widogast?” Caleb looked up to see the tall drow looking at him with amusement.  
“ Ah, I apologize, Essek.” He shook his head. “Just caught up in thoughts.” It wasn’t a lie. Caleb’s mind had been wandering nearly the entire time Essek was speaking. Essek sighed and sat down in the chair next to Caleb once more and let himself get comfortable against the wood. It was a bit more rickety and bare than he had been used to, but he found himself to forget it once caught up in listening to the young wizard’s tales. He chuckled, and let his head rest on his fist.  
“Show me what you’ve been paying attention to.” He commanded. Caleb swallowed, only slightly relieved that he had been listening to some of the important parts of Essek’s instructions. He gingerly lifted his hand, rolling up his sleeves. He carefully began tracing an arcane symbol into the air before Essek stopped him.  
“That was surprisingly close,” He responded to Caleb’s attempt, “But not quite. Perhaps we should take a break.” Caleb wanted to sigh with relief, but dared not to show any weakness in presence of the shadowhand. The drow looked Caleb up and down, glancing at every detail on his body, until his eyes were caught by his forearms. He moved his hand slightly, not moving if from his chin, to point at the faded scars on Caleb’s arms.  
“How did that happen?” Caleb panicked. He didn’t want to share too much with the man he’d only known for a few weeks, but he also didn’t want to lie. He decided to go with a happy midpoint between the two.  
“The, uh, the school I attended as a boy.” He started, letting his finger graze the scars, “The headmaster would call me into his office, along with other students. And he would torture me and the others with magic that I didn’t even know at the time.” Essek looked at him in shock, and Caleb wondered if he had said too much.  
“That’s…” Essek began, “that’s awful, Caleb. I’m sorry.” Caleb shook his head and opened the Xhorhaussian history book in front of him. Essek could tell it was painful to recall on Caleb’s part.  
“We should get back to work.” Caleb said blandly. Essek hardly wanted to make Caleb study more than he already has. He didn’t want to admit it, but Essek only wanted to hold the human close to his chest and help him forget his past and help him forget everyone who ever wronged him. Now, Essek found himself to be the one lost in thought. Everything about this man fascinated him. The way he could learn so quickly, the care he took in his studies. But deeper, he admired his dull orange hair, the small… what were those called? Yes, the freckles scattered across his pale face, and those intense eyes, comparable to an aquamarine stone. He was quite colorful, an enormous comparison to the dull grays, purples and reds of Xorhaus. Not only that, but the cat he summoned on and off seemed to match him perfectly. Fiery brown fur with dark stripes and spots. Essek couldn’t seem to put a finger on the name of such and exotic breed. He knew Caleb was strong, and able minded, but he also seemed so broken. Essek didn’t need to ask to know that Caleb has seen more than he has. Essek sighed.  
“We’ve been working for hours, Caleb.” Essek said, standing up, moving his hands to close the huge book. “You should stop for tonight.” Caleb shook his head and tried reaching for the book once more, but Essek quickly batted his hands away.  
“Now, don’t be so stubborn.” Essek teased. Caleb sighed with defeat and let the book disappear int0 a shelf. Essek admired the human’s determination, but he wouldn’t let him work himself to the bone.  
“Caleb.” He looked up to see light golden eyes illuminated by candlelight looking down at him. “Stop me if I am being too forward, but I’d like to take you somewhere.” Caleb cleared his throat, now caught up in the Shadowhand’s now casual demeanor. It was now he realized just how attractive this drow was. He was easily greater than a century old, but he looked Caleb’s age. His facial structure was nearly ideal, with high cheekbones and arched eyebrows. His silvery white hair looked like light fire in the dull candlelight.  
“Where?” Was all Caleb could say. Essek smiled, flashing unusually sharp canines.  
“You’ll see. Get your coat, it’s quite a walk.” Caleb seemed hesitant, but complied, grabbing his coat and scarf. Once ready, Essek opened the door to the study and led him out into what was now the training room. Nott was sitting on a table, tweaking her crossbow with Yeza at her side. Beau was next to Jester, who was excitedly whispering something about “Fluffernutter”, despite its previous failures. As soon as the pair walked out, Jester stopped her muttering and looked up, her purple eyes bright with enthusiasm.  
“Wow, you guys were in there for awhile.” She said, voice a little louder than she probably intended. Beau seemed to see an opportunity to mess with them.  
“Yeah, you haven’t been out here for hours.” She commented, crossing her arms in front of her torso. “Tell me, Caleb. How much does your ass hurt?” Jester started cackling while Caleb felt his face get hot. He didn’t want to look to see Essek’s reaction, but the drow chuckled at Beau’s suggestive joke.  
“No need for such assumptions, Miss Beauregard.” He responded. “Mister Widowgast is merely a focused worker.” Caleb flushed hotter at the compliment. As Essek and Caleb began heading towards the door, to the lounge, Nott decided to pipe up.  
“Um, hey!” She shouted. Caleb knew where this was going. “Where are you two headed off to?” Nott sounded like the mother she was and the crossbow in her hands seemed to be the only thing keeping her from putting them on her hips. Yeza’s head was already in his hand.  
“Out.” Caleb simply responded, and resisted the urge to tug on Essek’s robes and tug him along, but Nott didn’t stop.  
“Well, tell me where!” She shouted. “I want to make sure that you’re safe!” Essek chuckled once more and put his hand on Caleb’s shoulder.  
“I assure you that wherever I take Mister Widogast will be very familiar with me. I have no doubt that I will return him to you without a scratch.”  
“Wait, wait, wait!” Jester squealed, “You guys are going on a date?” Caleb seemed to shrink into his coat, his face as hot as the center of the sun.  
“If you take him home you’re fucked!” Beau pitched in, tightening her hand wraps. Caleb shook his head and grabbed the drow by the wrist, practically running towards the door.  
“Bring him back before midnight!” Nott yelled after them, pointing her crossbow at Essek, eventually pushed down by Yeza, who was the only calm one in the situation.  
Once Caleb and Essek were out the door and into the lounge, they didn’t stop when they saw Caduceus, Fjord and Yasha returning with bags in their hands. Essek only waved as Caleb dragged him past the foyer. Once outside, Caleb let go of Essek’s wrist.  
“I am… terribly sorry about them.” Caleb apologized, his palms sweaty. Essek laughed, and instead of putting his hand down, he grabbed Caleb’s hand and held it in his own.  
“I do not mind them. They’re like your little family.” Caleb’s heart seemed to flutter at those words. He did think of the Mighty Nein as his new family, but hearing someone else compare them to a family was foreign to him. Caleb chuckled nervously.  
“I suppose so, yes.” Caleb did not notice that Essek had begun leading him through the streets beneath the dark sky.  
“Nott is like a mother bird. She seems to care a lot about you.” Caleb chuckled.  
“I really can’t blame her.” He responded. “She has a child of her own, and when they were separated I was the closest thing she had to her son.” Caleb felt Essek squeeze his hand a little tighter.  
“Well, she certainly sees you as her own. And Beauregard and Jester?” Caleb rolled his eyes.  
"Most like younger sisters. Always freaking out when I talk to someone new.” Essek tilted his head.  
“What about someone you get romantically close to?” He dared to ask the question. Caleb wanted to stop in his tracks, but kept walking with the drow.  
“There hasn’t been someone like that in a very long time.” He said dryly. “And even so, I knew her before them, so who knows how they would have reacted.” Essek smiled.  
“I think we just found out, Caleb.” Caleb’s heart was in his throat. With his suspicion, Caleb decided to ask.  
“Where are we going?” it was then that he noticed his fingers were intertwined with Essek’s.  
“Beauregard’s comment about taking you home was rather worrying, to say the least. I’d love to see her reaction when I do just that.” This time, Caleb stopped.  
“You’re taking me to your home?” He questioned, voice slightly raised. Essek’s smile dropped, and he began to retreat his hand.  
“Is that a problem? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Caleb, I just thought a surprise would be nice, considering how hard you’ve been working.” The words poured out in a panic. Essek was no longer calm, but he was almost frantic. Great, he thought, You’ve put him off, Essek.  
Caleb shook his head, matching Essek’s panic.  
“No, no, it’s fine!” He nearly shouted, “I’m just surprised you would take me to such an… intimate location so quickly.” Essek smiled softly.  
“It could be much more intimate than having wine together, I assure you. There’s no need to be so worried.” Essek put his elbow out, allowing Caleb to take hold of it. Caleb did, and they continued their quaint walk.  
“So,” Caleb began, “This is a date?” Essek shrugged.  
“Of sorts. Call it what you wish.” Caleb could almost feel Essek’s beaming smile.  
Is this what he wanted the whole time? Caleb thought. Is this what I wanted? If Essek’s thoughts were any indication, the answer was yes. Holding Caleb’s hand, it was a soft grasp, like he had the power but chose not to use it. Essek stopped himself, ashamed, when his mind began to wander to what else Caleb could do with those hands.  
Caleb was alarmed. Essek was charming and charismatic, too much so for his liking. A huge part in the back of his mind was screaming at him that something wasn’t right. There’s no way that a dirty group of outsiders showed up one day and the Shadowhand of the bright queen herself would decide to pine after a shy wizard. There had to be something to gain on Essek’s side, he was sure.  
Before Caleb knew it, he was being led up a nice staircase with metal railings. He watched as a young servant opened the front door and greeted Essek.  
“Ah, Master Thelyss! Welcome home.” She said, dipping her head. Essek smiled back.  
“And, um, who is this you have with you?” she asked. Before Essek could answer, something seemed to click in her brain and she gasped.  
“Wait, you’re Mister Widogast, aren’t you?” She nearly shouted. Caleb was taken back. He can’t remember the last time a stranger reacted in such a way to his presence. He promptly removed his hands from Essek’s elbow.  
“Master Theylss has mentioned you many times. He seems very interested in you!” She covered her mouth once finishing her sentince.  
“I-I apologize, Master Theylss, it just sort of slipped-” Essek chuckled at the girl’s sudden panic.  
“Relax,” He said calmly, “Tell you what, you and your sister should take the rest of the night off.” The girl’s eyes lit up. As if summoned by the commotion, an older girl who Caleb assumed to be the girl’s sister appeared behind her.  
“Good evening, Master Theylss. May I ask what’s going on?” Already, this girl seemed to be more mature and collected than her sister who seemed to be only two or three years younger than her.  
“Master Theylss is giving us the night off!” The younger of the two said, grabbing her sister’s arm.  
The older looked at Caleb, and then at Essek, who nodded slightly. In return, she nodded back.  
“Alright, we’ll be off then.” She stepped aside in order to let the two past the doorway.  
“Enjoy your evening you two.” Essek said, putting his hand on the small of Caleb’s back to lead him in. While walking away, Caleb could hear the two talking to each other.  
“This is so exciting!” The younger squealed quietly, “Essek has finally found someone!” The older chucked.  
“It’s not every day Essek finds someone interesting.” And that was the last caleb heard before hearing to door close. Looking around the manor, Caleb noticed it was nearly bare, save for a few paintings and a red plant here and there. While caught up in his observations, he found himself to be walking up a marble spiral staircase to the second floor.  
“They seem nice.” Caleb said, breaking the silence. Essek nodded, seeming to be lost in thought. Caleb didn’t think much about his lack of a response. What Essek was lost in thought about would at least make Caleb nervous, however. Mentioning what he wanted to do to the man behind him once he had him upstairs wouldn’t leave Caleb unfazed. Once upstairs, Essek led Caleb to a room he was not expecting.


	2. A First for Everything

The room was dark when Caleb and Essek entered until the candles were suddenly lit. The room was similar enough to the rest of the manor, but still different in its own cozy way. The candelabras in each corner in the polygonal room were silver with accents of gold, and the floors were a shiny marble. The rest of the room, however, was more natural. Wooden dressers and chairs, an animal skin rug on the floor and a small bookshelf in front of a large window covered by dark red curtains. The most magnificent in the room was the large dark wood canopy bed sitting headboard against a wall to the right of the door. The bed in contrast to the rest of the room had ivory silk sheets to cover the king sized feather mattress. There were both functional and decorative pillows strewn about that gave the bed the feel of an organized mess, and the canopy was covered with a light, translucent cotton curtain.

“Your bedroom, ja?” Caleb didn’t know what he wanted his answer to be. If it was yes, he would be scared. If it was no, he would be disappointed. Essek chuckled at Caleb’s question.

“I hope it isn’t too forward. I just thought we could talk, have some wine.” He moved closer. “Get to know one another better.”

Caleb hadn’t even noticed that Essek’s feet were on the floor. The surprise of that was nothing compared to the concern Caleb felt for his safety. 

“What do you mean by that?” Caleb said after clearing his throat. He could feel his face flushing up again. Essek was bending over to reach into a small cupboard near the far wall of the room. Retrieving a brilliant crystal bottle and two goblets, Essek set them on the table at the foot of his bed.  
“I do not only wish to know you as an apprentice, Caleb. I wish to know you as a friend.” He said. As he poured the rich dark red beverage into the two platinum goblets, Caleb internally cursed himself. Only friends? 

He decided to wave the thought of his attraction away for now. Instead, he followed Essek’s command when he sat on the edge of his bed and patted the sheets beside him. He was hesitant at first, but he obeyed. After raising his goblet a little bit and taking a long drink, Essik spoke and turned towards Caleb.  
“Now, Caleb,” he began, “I know you may be hesitant to share with me, but I’m very curious. Why exactly are you no longer loyal to the Empire?” Caleb felt himself tense up. His past trauma came back to him in an instant. Why did Essek want to know? Was it to ensure he was loyal to Xhorhaus now? The wizard knew telling Essek about his past was dangerous. 

“I’ve already told you,” He began. “My headmaster abused me. Nothing more.” Essek’s brow furrowed as he took another long drink.  
“But that was just a single man. Surely that wouldn’t warrant hatred towards an entire nation, would it?”  
“Can we please change the subject?” Caleb said, biting his lip in worry. Essek’s hand laid on Caleb’s wrist.  
“Caleb, dear, I want you to trust me!” Essek begged. With that, Caleb stood up abruptly.  
“I don’t want to talk about it!” He shouted, his voice ringing in the room. Essek was silent. He had never heard Caleb yell like that.  
“I…” Essek muttered as Caleb dropped to the floor and buried his head in his hands. “Caleb, I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He set his goblet on his end table and returned to Caleb. 

“Bitte…” Caleb said, barely a whisper. 

“What was that?” 

“Bitte hilf mir zu vergessen…” Caleb sounded like he was crying. 

“Caleb, I don’t understand, I’m sorry.” Essek said, crouching down next to the human. He was just about to cast comprehend languages when Caleb threw himself into Essek’s arms. Essek hesitated before enveloping Caleb into a tight hug.  
Bright Queen, help me. He thought to himself. He’s so broken. 

“Caleb, look at me. Let me help.” Essek muttered. Caleb looked up at him slowly. Essek immediately saw those aquamarine eyes in a different way. They were no longer strong and determined, but rather dull and exhausted. The poor man was shattered beyond repair on the inside, and there was nothing Essek could do to help. Not unless he was correct in his calculations. Essek brought his face closer to Caleb’s until he could feel his breath on his lips. He was tempting him, begging him.  
It was a moment before Caleb complied and gently pressed his lips to Essek’s. Essek had never felt a gesture so gentle. His lips were chapped and dry, but it was the softest thing he had felt in his life. Essek began to pull Caleb up and as he did, he deepened the kiss. As Caleb held his breath he let Essek’s tongue slip past his lips and press against his own. Caleb could feel his face get hot as Essek began to turn him towards the bed and push him down. Once he was on top of Caleb he broke away, catching his breath. Caleb cleared his throat when he met Essek’s soft gold eyes. 

“Is uh…” He began, his voice shaky. “Is this what you wanted?” Essek hummed as he bent down once more to nip at Caleb’s neck. He brought his knee up to the bed to try to get more on top of Caleb, who didn’t bother to notice Essek pulling at his vest. 

Before he knew it, Caleb was shirtless, flustered, and pressed up against the headboard with a handsome drow in his lap. Soft hands traced his chest and stomach, softly caressing him. Essek was nibbling at his collarbone, not yet bothered to remove his own dark leather vest. 

“This seems inappropriate, Essek.” Caleb teased. “A student and a mentor, how much trouble we’ll be in.” 

Essek laughed, bringing himself back up to Caleb’s face to kiss him again. 

“I think we’ll be fine if we keep this our little secret. ” Caleb smiled against his lips when he kissed him once more. 

“I’m good at keeping secrets.” 

“Then I have utmost confidence in you, my dear.” Essek said, letting his head fall in the crook of Caleb’s neck. There was a beautiful moment of pure silence. Caleb was still trying to absorb the fact that Essek had loved him the entire time. Well, perhaps not love, but at least Essek wanted to be in his company. Enough to have a fling. He could still taste Essek on his lips as the drow nestled into him. Caleb couldn’t help but wrap his arms around him and savor the moment.  
“I hope we can stay like this.” Essek purred. “I love your little family.” He lifted his head up to look at Caleb’s sapphire eyes. “I love you.” He finished off his thought so softly that Caleb had to kiss him again just as softly. 

“Hm.” Essek hummed, breaking away from the kiss. “What time is it?” Caleb thought for a moment. 

“11:41” 

“Nott will be furious if I don’t have you home soon.” Essek reminded him. Caleb sighed with annoyance. He hated that Essek was completely right. He loved Nott, but he knew that if he didn’t follow her curfew he would certainly be in for an earful. 

“Ja, I should probably get back.” He gently pushed Essek off his lap, who in return gave him a final quick peck on the cheek. The drow gracefully hopped off Caleb’s lap and began to pick up the wizard’s clothes from the floor. 

Caleb hadn’t wanted it to end. Essek had said the l-word and the world stopped. One simple confession had changed his life in an instant. Now he didn’t have to spend his time worrying that Essek would never share his feelings. He didn’t have to worry that he was being used. He had never heard something so genuine as that “I love you.” As Caleb took his layers of clothes from Essek and slipped them on, Essek began to clothe himself as well. He wasn’t nearly as uncovered as Caleb was, however. 

“You’ll want to cover those up as well.” Essek teased. Caleb was confused until he caught a view of himself in the mirror above the dresser. It was then that he was able to get a good look at his neck and collarbone, which were covered in fresh bruises and bites. He only smiled brightly when he knew he was out of Essek’s view. Once his neck was adequately covered by his collar he slipped the rest of his layers on. He couldn’t cover a bite mark that was placed on his jaw, however.  
“You could have asked me permission before marking me up like that, liebling.” He giggled. He felt like a teenage schoolboy again.  
“Oh, that kiss was all I needed.” Essek responded nonchalantly. “I would have suspected you wanted more, considering how often your tongue was in my mouth.” Celeb could feel his face flush up again as the two walked toward the doorway of the room.

“Look who’s talking.” Caleb defended. “You were practically down my throat.” Without warning, there was suddenly a firm grip of Caleb’s rear and a soft purr in his ear.

“Oh, trust me. There will certainly be something down your throat the next chance I get.” Essek’s smooth tone sent a shiver up the human’s spine that made the hair on his neck stand up. Just as suddenly, Caleb turned around with a fierce look in his eyes.

“Is that a promise?” He whispered. He could tell that Essek wasn’t expecting this sudden assertion. A magenta color spread across Essek’s cheeks and reached the tips of his ears. He cleared his throat and gently pushed Caleb forward. Caleb gave a teasing laugh in return and followed close behind. 

***

“Thank you for walking me home.” Caleb thanked as he and Essek walked arm-in-arm back to the Xorhaus.  
“Anything for you.” Essek responded sweetly. Not long after the mutual wordless confession, the two acted like they’d been together for months. They weren’t together at all, at least not yet. Instead they just happily shared what they had. The lanterns of the Xorhaus’ tree were glowing dimly, and Caleb wondered what it would be like to sit beneath that tree with Essek and slowly doze off with Frumpkin purring in his lap. 

It felt so surreal. He kept his feelings for Essek under wraps for so long when in reality there was no need. He never would have expected Essek to reciprocate his feelings, but he did. He wondered why the gods would fate such a dirty lump of scraps like him to be with a beautiful esteemed drow like Essek.  
When they reached the steps of the house, the two stopped. Essek smiled and pulled Caleb into a tight hug.  
“We’ll do that again, ja?” Caleb asked, wrapping his arms around Essek’s back, who chuckled in response. 

“As long as I never have to see you cry like that again.” He said. Caleb smiled and retreated from the hug. Before letting him go, Essek brought one hand up to Caleb’s jaw and pressed their lips together one last time. Caleb was still flustered but it was more out of joy this time. Out of love. When he opened his eyes after the kiss he could swear he saw something moving in the front window. 

“I’ll see you soon, Caleb.” Essek said with a wink. He turned around and began walking back towards the center of town.  
Caleb sighed, upset that it was over. He wanted to spend the rest of his life enveloped in Essek’s arms. If he was lucky, he wouldn’t have to wait long.  
As he walked into the house, something felt off. The foyer was dimly lit with a few candles, and he didn’t feel alone. When he shut the door, the feeling got more intense. 

“Ca-leeeb!” The cheery sing-songy voice behind him made his hair stand on end. Scheiße.  
“I knew it!” Another female voice shouted. Caleb’s face turned red as he whipped his body around to find Jester dancing on her toes and Beauregard clenching her fists. 

“So it was a date!” Jester exclaimed, bounding towards him. 

“He kissed you! Kissed. You.” Beau growled. Caleb sighed, burying his face in his scarf.

This would not be an easy explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the fic guys! I've had an idea for a full-length fic floating around my head but that may never come to fruition. I hope y'all enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time actually writing a coherent fanfic, so don't judge it too harshly. And no, Essek's maids are not children. If they were humans they'd be in their early to mid 20's.


End file.
